Selling Your Business But Struggling to Talk About Money With Your Partner? Start Here.
You have been trying to get your partner to sit down and talk about your personal cash flow for years.
You have tried everything you can think of and it always ends in an argument or your partner shutting down. They feel controlled and you feel like the only one worried about your family’s financial future.
With the sale of your business approaching, it feels urgent that you get on the same page or risk losing what you worked so hard to build.
I see this all the time in the couples I work with and want to offer some guidance on how to approach this conversation.
What NOT to do:
Make general statements like “we need to spend less”. - This is too vague and confusing.
Tell your partner what THEY need to do or stop doing - This can make your partner feel criticized and talked down to which makes them shut down or get defensive.
Initiate money conversation via text, when your partner is busy, and/or late at night.
Use financial jargon or business terms unless they also well versed in these terms.
What to do instead:
Let your partner know that you want to talk about something that you are worried about and ask when a good time would be for them to talk.
Start the conversation by focusing on your own experience. Example: “I have been feeling stressed about money. I’m worried we are not going to be good stewards of the money from the sale of my business. ”
Take responsibility for your role. “I know I haven’t always been the best at approaching these conversations with you.”
Make a request: “I would love for us to be more of a team when it comes to financial conversations.”
Ask for their perspective and then listen to understand, not to respond: “How do you feel about money in our relationship? What changes would you like for us to make?”
Keep in mind this is just the start of what will need to be many conversations about money.
If you continue to have difficulty engaging your partner in these conversations or your conversations continue to end in conflict or avoidance, I’m here to help.
Reach out to schedule a consultation call for Couples Financial Therapy.
